Cancer is a Four Letter Word

Cancer is a nasty word.  My Nanny (aka Grandmother) had breast cancer many years ago when I was much younger.  I remember the day my mom told me Nanny had cancer and I distinctly recall feeling completely unworried.  As I think back on it, what an odd reaction to such terrible news, but I remember knowing and never doubting that my Nanny was going to be just fine.  Of course, when I was younger I didn't quite grasp the complexities of life and its' circumstances along with the finality of death.

Flash forward 10 years and now I am getting ready to deal with cancer from a different perspective, a friend's point of view.  I can't even describe all of the emotions that constantly course through my brain at lightning speed.  I am afraid and angry and tearful all at once somehow. 

My husband and I met Steve and Supriya almost 2 years ago and we instantly became close friends.  I honestly feel that they are family.  I feel that their friendship is one of unique finding- very rarely do people ever find friends so quickly like the ones we have in Steve and Supriya.  They are two of the most kind, loving and giving people you will ever meet in your life.  Steve has known he has Leukemia for almost two years but has been able to avoid chemotherapy.  During his next doctor's visit, he will set a date for chemotherapy treatments in the immediate future.  And I am not ready yet.  I have known this time would come for the past two years and yet I find myself still not ready.  I want to put these moments off for just one more week.  Or two more weeks. Maybe three.

My heart breaks into a million tiny little pieces as I think of the coming months and what they may bring.  I try to place myself in Supriya's shoes.  I try to place myself in their three year old's shoes.  I feel for them like I didn't for my Nanny because I comprehend the implications of chemotherapy on life, health and relationships.  I know that God has a plan in all of this.  I may not know what it is or even understand it, but I have faith that this is all for a reason and that God will help us all through the next few months, no matter how hard it may get.

God places people in our lives and us in theirs for a reason.  Steve reminds us almost on a daily basis that God allows us to go through tough times in order to grow in our faith.  I could not agree more but now I am starting to realize that this will be a time for my husband and I to grow in our faith too.

From the Left; Supriya, Steve, Me, Stephen (my husband)